


Pluviophile

by pennedbyunnie



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Dissociative Amnesia, F/M, M/M, Past Infidelity, Psychological Trauma, break up/never back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22143829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennedbyunnie/pseuds/pennedbyunnie
Summary: Pluviophile- /noun/ a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.P l u v i o p h i l eA KaiSoo Three-shotDate posted: December 17, 2015Date completed: May 9, 2016originally posted in my wattpad account: @pennedbyunnie
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Jung Soojung | Krystal/Kim Jongin | Kai, Lu Han/Oh Sehun
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Foreword

**Title:** Pluviophile  
**Pairings:** Kaisoo, slight!Hunhan  
**Genre:** Romance, Psychological  
**Page count:** Three-shots  
**Language:** English

 **Warnings** **:** Angst, mentions of psychological disorders, cheating.

* * *

_**"Will you still remember my name after the rain..?"** _ _He asked, s_ _nuggling the smaller male beside him._

 _**"Wherever you ar** _ _**e, whatever will happen, I know, my heart will always remember..."** _

fic orginally posted **[here](https://www.wattpad.com/story/56105047-pluviophile-kaisoo-completed)**

let us be mutuals:

[ **wattpad**](https://www.wattpad.com/user/PennedByUnnie), **[twitter](https://twitter.com/pennedbyunnie)** , **[tumblr](https://ayalumiere.tumblr.com/)**


	2. 1/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fic originally written on 2015 so some information here may not be factual anymore.
> 
> made some minor revisions. mostly, grammatical errors and some words i deem not appropriate for my own choice.
> 
> hope you enjoy!

**Part 1**

\- - -

He happily stood in front of the blue-green ocean, admiring the beautiful art work that can be seen from where he is standing. The synchronized movements of the waves and the shining crystals of water under the sun. _It was beautiful, as always._ He smiled genuinely, letting the warm breeze of easterly winds hug his skin gently.

Summer is his most favorite season of the year. Seeing the milky white sand clutched on his feet and the small waves of sea trying to run after his steps when he walks along the seashore. The beautiful seashells in its variation of shapes and colors that he would collect to make bracelets for his best friends.

Two men caught his attention when they called his name. He flashed a grin and walked towards them.

 **"Luhannie, Se!"** The couple waved at him, making his smile grow even bigger.

 **"So Kyungsoo hyung, do you like it here?"** The taller male who goes by the name Sehun asked.

 **"Alright! This is** _ **perf**_ **!"** He answered cheerfully.

Sehun chuckles, moving his eyes toward the deer-like male standing beside him, **"I told you. Kyungsoo hyung will like it here."** He said playfully, wiggling his eyebrows. **"So..."**

 **"Fine, you won."** Luhan, the deer-like male beside him, retorted. Sehun squirms like a girl, repeatedly mouthing _'my price, my price'_ like some kind of mantra. Luhan rolled his eyes and eyed Kyungsoo instead. **"So Baby Soo, you really sure this place will be the most suitable subject for your plate?"** He asked. Well, he still can't accept the fact that the younger yet taller male standing beside him namely Oh Sehun a.k.a his boyfriend won against him in a bet of _what place will Kyungsoo choose to be the highlight of his art collection._

Kyungsoo chose _Seasons_ to be the theme of his exhibit that would be held by the end of the month, and being the best-est best friends they were, they volunteered to suggest places for his artworks. Sehun chose _beach_ or _seashore_ to depict summer, saying, _"It's Kyungsoo hyung's most favorite season of the year. And don't you think it's fun, watching all those babes and hot guys flexing their sexy summer bod? I'm gonna bet 50% of my yearly bubble tea supply, the tickets for your art exhibit will be sold in just a matter of nano-seconds. That is if you choose beach as your main subject."_ _He proudly suggested, earning a flying kick from his boyfriend._

_"Shut up, you perv! I'm gonna bet my hello kitty CD collection, baby Soo will choose Cherry blossom park for his art exhibit. Why? Because spring represents new hope and being reborn. It also depicts forgiveness and moving forward. My suggestion has a very deep and equivocal meaning. Unlike your meaningless, r-19 beach! And besides, Baby Soo is not a perv like you!"_ _And the argumentations continue until..._

_"Fine! Why don't we let Kyungsoo hyung decide? Let's bring him to your 'cherry blossom park' then to my 'beach'. Let's hear his judgment afterwards. Deal?"_

_"Deal!"_ _Luhan looks at Kyungsoo._ _"Baby Soo, you will say **'perf'** for your chosen place, ayt?" Kyungsoo nods, dismissing the question, "why perf?" in his head. Luhan looks like he could eat someone alive now so he didn't bother to ask for more._

_"Your bet?" Sehun asked, smiling slyly. A 'brain blast' ting above his head._

_"Alright, why don't we use this chance to tame our baby deer?" His evil mind stated._

_Before Luhan could say something, Sehun cuts him off, "Why don't we use your cute pink hole as your bet then?" Luhan was taken aback at first, but being the competitive person that he is, he immediately plot something 'more' evil in his mind._

_"Alright. In return, let's turn your posters and magazines of Miranda Kerr into ashes." He said with a winning smirk in his lips._

_Sehun whines, Luhan laughs evilly._

But the heaven seems to be on Sehun's side for Kyungsoo's perf (that was supposed to be muttered in Luhan's cherry blossom park) flew away to Sehun's beach.

Sehun grabbed Luhan's arms, **"Enough with the whinings, baby deer. Instead, let's make my** _ **little big Sehunnie**_ **happy. He has been craving for you for a season. Let's water his withering needs with your rosy puckered** _ **rosebud**_ **."** Alright, enough with the Rated 19+ talkings.

Kyungsoo smiles as he sees his two best friends looking lovingly towards each another even though they look like they are fighting from a distance. Sehun is dragging Luhan towards the hotel where they checked-in a while ago. The smaller, on the other hand, is trying his best to dodge all the younger's draggings, leaving the younger with no choice but to carry him like a sack. His head on the younger's back while he is being carried upside down.

Kyungsoo laughs. Well, it looks like another sleepless night for the three. With Sehun using his stamina to fuck the deer's rosy _rosebud_ , Luhan moani--singing at the top of his lungs non-stop until dawn, and him planning his latest plate with the sound of his best friends' love making for his late night music.

Kyungsoo didn't mind, though. He knows how much his best friends love each other.

And besides, he have another thing to mind.

_It will rain soon... and he wants to find the truth._


	3. 2/3

**Part 2**

\- - -

Kyungsoo doesn't know what is wrong. Ever since he woke up from his _deep slumber_ , he cannot remember everything anymore.

Well not _everything_ as you think, but he cannot remember his memories during a certain _season_ of the year.

He woke up early just like the other day. He wandered around the shore to watch the rising sun _._ It was _always_ a daily routine for him: waking up early before the sun rise, walking around to contemplate about things, trying to make an artificial jigsaw puzzle to assemble the broken pieces of his memory, going home, planning his artworks, and letting his day go with the flow of time. He was _always_ like that. But it was _fine_ for him, though. He was already contented of his life. The unending cycle, far from all the pain that he might experience in the world _outside_ his sanctuary.

Since the day he woke up, Kyungsoo vowed to never let himself be attached to other people _again._ Luhan, Sehun and his family (who were living overseas) were already enough because he cannot afford it anymore--he cannot afford to watch the thick wall he worked really hard to build to slowly crumble in front of his eyes.

Kyungsoo watched the little children happily playing in the shore. Some of them are running while some are trying to find something under the shallow part of the sea. Others are making sand castle while some children are just like him, _dazed_ by the beautiful sight of the nature. The circular movement of the water when someone is moving or stepping on it makes him remember the travesty in his mind.

The big crack in his life.

_His forgotten memories during rainy days._

Kyungsoo's most favorite season of the year is _summer_. He loves to watch the synchronized movement of the waves grazing the milky white sand of the seashore. The contrasting beauty of blue, green, and white and the occasional neon pink and green from the tourists' bathing suits. He also loves to watch families from different places having a great time in the beach. The bond between each members growing stronger because of the happy memories that will forever be etched in their memories.

This is the main reason why Kyungsoo chose _beach_ as the front cover for his art exhibit. He wants his viewers and spectators to know how much he adores summer and the perks of it. He also wants to emphasize his hidden agenda in choosing _Seasons_ as the theme of his art exhibit---to recollect memories of the long forgotten past.

But most importantly, he wants to _see_ the truth. The truth behind his most favorite thing.

_The truth behind the summer rain._

**"Ya, Baby Soo! Where have you gone?!"** Luhan asked Kyungsoo, hysterically. Well, nothing's new for Kyungsoo. The deer-like male was always like that. Ever since he got involved in an accident many years ago (which is, by the way, one of the things he cannot remember), he would not tear off his eyes from Kyungsoo even for just a minute. Because he's afraid--he's afraid of many _possible_ things that might happen if he leaves his best friend alone.

 **"Calm down, Lu. I just took a morning walk."** He answered nonchalantly. Luhan, being the nosy deer he is, looks unsatisfied by Kyungsoo's answer. He knows something is bothering his best friend. He can see it in his expressive doe-like eyes. He knows Kyungsoo just like the back of his hand, and he also knows that his best friend will keep on denying it if he ask for more. So he just shrugged off the thoughts in his mind.

 **"Anyways, where's Sehun?"** Kyungsoo asked, trying to change the topic. He knew Luhan was not satisfied by his answer. He could see it in the quizzical look his best friend was throwing at his direction. Well, he couldn't really blame the other male. He was just being a caring best friend, someone he should be grateful of. There were just some certain things that he needs to keep to himself. And Kyungsoo knew his best friend would never like it if he came to know the smaller male's true intention in making all of these.

He doesn't want Kyungsoo to remember his past. He doesn't want Kyungsoo to remember _him._

Kyungsoo came back to his thoughts when he heard the light chuckles of his best friend, **"Well, my Sehunnie cutiepie honeypie chocolate gummy bear teddy bear cupcake---"** Kyungsoo fake coughs. **"Alright, I'm just kidding. Well, Sehunnie went outside to buy breakfast for the three of us. You know, I'm too tired to go out. Sehunnie jr. was really aggresive last night and you know what Soo? I think he grew one inch--"** Kyungsoo sent him a death glare. **"Fine, and I know you are also tired from planning the plate for your artwork. So, I'm just gonna shut my mouth here and let you continue what you need to do."** Kyungsoo shook his head in disbelief. His best friend is crazy _sometimes_.

 **"Alright, just leave the break fast in the dining table. I'm going to eat later."** He said, making his way to his bed room.

Kyungsoo heaved a long sigh before looking at the pile of canvas sheets in his bedroom floor. He forgot to assemble it last night and he needs to fix it now. Well, you'll never know when will it rain. And yes, you read it right. Kyungsoo decided to choose _Summer rain_ as his subject. He wanted to make sure that his first memory under the rain is having to feel the euphoria from doing an artwork.

And besides, he wanted to challenge himself to remember. Hopefully, _everything_.

Kyungsoo decided to take a break for a minute. He was tired from his morning walk and he hadn't got enough sleep last night because of the concert (or should I say, moaning _porn_ cert) from his neighboring bedroom. Just when he was going to close his eyes, something caught his attention. A black journal lying among his memorabilia on his study table. His journal. The thing that can connect him to his long forgotten memories. The main reason why he wants to know the past.

He scanned the shabby pages of his journal. It was already yellowish-brown in color. Sign that it was used for a long time already. He flipped each pages, comprehending the written words and trying to form scenarios inside his head. He couldn't make anything, though. The names and the things on this journal was unfamiliar to him. Well, except for the names of his best friends Sehun and Luhan and also the names of his father, mother and older brother.

What caught his attention the most is the name of a person who seems to be really important to him.

_Jongin._

He shut his eyes, trying to remember anything about that name. The name seems to be really familiar to him but no matter how much he tried, no memories of that certain person was coming in his mind.

He continued to scan the pages of the said journal until it reached his very last entry.

_02/26/20**_

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm really happy today! After so many years of waiting, we can finally hold each other without any interventions. I can finally make him feel my love._

_I'm looking forward to this day. Please root for us!_

_Sincerely,_   
_Kyungsoo._

Kyungsoo doesn't know who was the "him" he was referring to in his last entry. He has many guesses in his mind though he doesn't know which one was true. It could be Hyunsik, his dear friend in college. Or Suho, his suitor in highschool. It could also be Ryeowook, his senior in the Art Guild club.

There were so many possibilities, but something was also ringing in his head.

_It could also be Jongin, whom according to his journal, was his first love._

Kyungsoo walked rapidly under the sun. Yes, he loves summer but that doesn't mean he loves the scorching heat that the season brings. He hates it, having to walk under the blistering sun, sweating like there's no tomorrow.

But he needed to do so. If not then he cannot paint. He was silently cursing himself for forgetting the nails. Yes, the _fucking_ nails that he needed in order to assemble the canvas for his artwork.

 _"Now, now, where in this resort can we find a hardware?"_ He asked himself which he retorted to afterwards. _"Dumb Soo! What resort on Earth has a fucking hardware in it?"_

He was slowly losing hope. He has been walking for hours, trying to find some hardware or just a small shop selling nails. He wanted to hit himself for his idiocy but he knew nothing good would happen if he drown himself in _self-blame_

 _"What if I stole some nails from the small cottages outside the hotel? It doesn't look like it will collapse if I do so."_ But nah, Kyungsoo would not stoop that low.

He sighed deeply, stopping in the midst of his steps. _"Maybe the mighty bond will do."_ He thinks. Well, he really couldn't push back the making of his artwork. The due date is by the end of the month and he just couldn't half-ass his artworks. This art exhibit was really important for him. He couldn't just slack off because this art exhibit might be his _last_.

Kyungsoo got back on his track. Right! He couldn't just sit in one corner. He needed to find a way and he knew he can. Because when it comes to Kyungsoo, everything has its own way.

 **"Ouch!"** He yelps when something hits his nose. _A wall._ He contemplated. _No, a soft wall._

**"Um, I'm sorry,"** _And also, a talking wall._

Everything felt like a deja vu for Kyungsoo. The moment the _wall_ turns to face him.

The plump lips and the sun-kissed skin. The jet black hair color and the high-bridged nose. His wide shoulder and his strong built. The erratic beating of each hearts and eyes showing nothing but _longingness_ and _love_.

Because when it comes to Kyungsoo, everything has its own way.

_And today is the day when the fate decided to make a way..._

_...for the two broken hearts to mend._


	4. 3/3: The afternoon it rains

**Part 3**

\- - -

Kyungsoo never expected all of these. Nor did he have a glimpse of this scenario from his dreams. The way the sun glistens more brightly than before, illuminating the blithe scenery that will forever stay in his memories. Kyungsoo has never been this happy in his whole life. Kyungsoo never felt _being_ _loved_. Kyungsoo never fell _in love_.

And all these wonderful feelings were brought to him by a mere stranger going by the name _Kim Kai._

_Kim Kai._

_"What a beautiful name... I wonder how will it sound in my mouth?"_ and so he tried muttering it. 

**"Kim... Kai..."**

**"You calling me?"** The tanned male shows out of nowhere.

Blushing furiously, Kyungsoo shook his head. Trying to deny the younger's accusation.

A chuckle from the other male broke his reverie. He knew Kyungsoo was still awkward around him.

He never mind though. In fact, it was good thing for him.

It is a sign. A sign that gives him hope that maybe... _just maybe,_ this summer is a lifetime _exception_.

 **"You look so happy."** The tanned male whispered while hugging the older from the back. He knew this action may cross boundaries but he never mind. Not when he really _loves_ the older albeit to the small possibility of the latter returning his feelings.

 **"Do I?"** Kyungsoo asked playfully, trying to mask the awkward atmosphere.

Kai chuckles once again, settling his chin in the older's shoulder. **"Yeah, you do."** _And I can see it by the way you smile wholeheartedly. I can see it by the way you showcase your heart-shaped lips... the lips I really missed._

**"Hey Baby Soo, where were you?"** Kyungsoo stopped on his track when he heard the suspecting voice of his best friend. Sitting on the couch of the dimly-litted living room, Luhan eyed Kyungsoo, anticipating for a reasonable answer.

 **"Trying to find some beautiful places to paint? Why do you ask?"** Kyungsoo responded.

 **"Shouldn't your answer be in statement and not in question?"** Luhan threw. He was beginning to become suspicious. It has been a week since they first checked-in in this hotel and in the whole duration of their stay, Kyungsoo still couldn't find a perfect subject for his plate.

His excuse was; _"Oh, I'm trying to find a perfect angle of the ocean. You know, I want the front cover of my collection to be beyond beautiful."_ Then he would try to change the topic by laughing awkwardly and asking about Luhan's day.

Kyungsoo was not good in lying. Luhan knew.

If he was trying to find a perfect angle of the ocean to paint, why would he ride the elevator going to the 12th floor of the hotel instead of going to the beach?

 **"Why does it sounds like you're interrogating me like some kind of criminal? I'm not doing something evil, Luhan. I'm just working on my artwork."** Kyungsoo tiredly explained. He doesn't know what his best friend was thinking but whatever it was, he was sure it was something he was too tired to deal with.

Luhan let him slip this time. Trying to believe his best friend's words even if it just left more reasons for him to suspect.

He's just silently hoping that today isn't the _day_.

**"You said you couldn't remember some of your memories during rainy days?"** The tanned male beside him asks. Kyungsoo nods, straightening his posture while fixing his canvass.

 **"Not some but** _ **everything,**_ **"** He corrects. **"I couldn't remember myself running happily under the rain or holding an umbrella while walking under the rain spree. I also couldn't recall the fragrance of the rain nor the raindrops forming patterns on the windows."** He explains thoroughly. The tanned male nods at him, letting him know that he sinks everything the doe-eyed male is saying on his mind.

 **"Then if you couldn't remember everything, how did you know those things? I mean, shouldn't you be unaware about those things because you were never exposed to them?"** The tanned male once again asks.

Kyungsoo shrugs. **"Not remembering those things doesn't mean I was never exposed to them. I experienced all of them once or twice but the problem is, I couldn't recall those times."**

 **"Oh, that's a** _ **big problem**_ **. Then, why can't you remember those things? Did something happened that made you not remember?"** The tanned male watches how the older man beside him hit the nail so the canvas sheet would stick on the wooden clipboard.

Finishing the last drive, Kyungsoo straightens the folded sides of the canvas. He reaches for a scissor to cut some excess strings from it, making it look perfect for his artwork. He heard from the morning broadcast that it would rain two days from today and Kyungsoo couldn't get any less excited. _Finally, after a week of waiting._ **"I don't know but according to what my best friend had told me, I got involved in a car accident 5 years ago and the shock I got from the accident made me forget about certain things and that includes my memories during rainy days."**

**"I knew it. It was you... _again._ "**

**"Lu-luhan hyung,"** Kai calls out, stammering. He was waiting for Kyungsoo at the seashore because Kyungsoo had told him that today is the _day._ Even if he can't understand what the latter is saying, he still agrees to accompany him. That's how smitten he is. He wants to be with Kyungsoo always. But what's he's seeing right now is the one he least expect to see today. Luhan standing in front of him, glaring daggers that can kill.

 **"I'd already told you, hadn't I? Why are you so stubborn, _Jongin_?" **Luhan is frustrated. It all makes sense now. Kyungsoo lied to him and it was all because of Jongin, _again_.

 **"Hyung please, just let me in Kyungsoo hyung's life. I love him and I know he's feeling the same, too. Just let us live a happy life."** Jongin begs. The pain he got from waiting for years, eyeing his love from afar. He has been waiting for this _day_ for too long and he doesn't think he can wait for more years because if he let his Kyungsoo go now, he might not have a chance to reach out to him again.

 **"Why can't you understand it, Jongin?! I'm doing this for Kyungsoo! I'm saving him from all the pain!"** Luhan breaks down. The day he has been afraid of already came and he doesn't know what to do. He can't let the destiny toys his best friend again. He fails to protect his best friend. He can't afford to have another room for a failure.

If preventing his best friend from something that can gave him happiness will protect him, he's more than willing to erase Jongin in Kyungsoo's life. 

**"It was all your fault, don't you know that?! If only you hadn't ditched Kyungsoo at the day of your _wedding_ , all of these might have never happened!" **Luhan remarks bitterly. If hurting Jongin will spare Kyungsoo from the pain then he will do it, repeatedly.

 **"But hyung..."** Luhan cuts him off.

**"He will forget about you _again,_ Jongin. That's how the cycle goes."**

_Dear Journal,_

_I'm really happy today! After so many years of waiting, we can finally hold each other without any interventions. I can finally make him feel my love._

_I'm really looking forward to this day. Please root for us!_

_Love,_   
_Kyungsoo._

_After writing his entry, Kyungsoo immediately fixes his White Tuxedo. Today is his wedding day with his longtime boy friend, Kim Jongin._

_Just like any other cliche love stories, the two accidentally met when they bump into each other in the Bus terminal. It was raining that time and Kyungsoo forgot to bring his umbrella that was why he's hugging himself like his life depended to it. Jongin offered his umbrella to Kyungsoo, having no other choice, Kyungsoo accepted the latter's offer. Walking under the rain spree and riding the bus together while watching the raindrops forming some glassy patterns on the Bus windows, Kyungsoo's life began to change. Butterflies in stomachs were there, the slow motion of everything and what it seems to be the sudden "fireworks" in their hearts._

_Of course, they are not the kind of perfect couple. They do fight. But just like any other couple quarreling, just a few making love and they will be okay again._

_It was only the two of them who understands each other truly. They seemed connected. They were inseparable._

_5 years of being in a relationship, the two decided to tie the knot after Jongin graduated from university, earning a degree in architecture. Kyungsoo, at that time, was working hard on his graduate school. An Academy-Museum in Busan, far from Seoul where his love was. That was the start of their dark days._

_Jongin met Krystal Jung in one of the Architectural firms he applied to. They became friends then best friends until they developed something in between them. Jongin had an affair with Krystal. He's been having sex with the latter behind Kyungsoo's back._

_The day of their wedding came blur to Jongin. All he remembered was how Krystal shouts his name while he thrusts earnestly towards the latter's heat. Kyungsoo was sent at the back of his mind. Their wedding was long-forgotten._

_It was raining that afternoon, reflecting how Kyungsoo's heart was crying silently. No, Jongin would never disappoint him. He knows how much the latter loves him because he feels the same._

_Kyungsoo waited for Jongin for hours, hoping that the latter would come even in the very last minute of the day. It was raining hard that night when Kyungsoo finally sank to his mind that maybe Jongin would never come. Running away from the church where he once dreamed of his supposed-to-be happy ending, Kyungsoo never foresee for such an accident to come. Blinded by the light of the approaching car, Kyungsoo's body finally gave up. His mind blank and his heart tired, wishing for all of these to halt._

_Only with the **rain** as the witness, Kyungsoo finally set himself free from pain._

_It was too late when Jongin came to his sated self. Too late that he didn't realized that he lost something precious to him._

_The mistakes of the past inflicted a very deep pain to their hearts. With so much burden in his soul, Kyungsoo's mind decided to protect him._

**_He forgets._ **

**"Ya, Sehun! Why are you blocking the door? Go away! I'm going to the beach to paint."** Kyungsoo bickers. Sehun is standing in front of him, blocking his way to the door. It irritates him. Kai is surely waiting for him and yet he can't find his way out because of a certain maknae who seems to have chosen Kyungsoo as his laughing stock for today.

 **"But hyung, I shouldn't let you out."** The skinny maknae answers.

 **"And why is that?"** He challenges the maknae by raising his eyebrows. Sehun flinches. Honestly, he doesn't want to do this, but the call of protecting his best friend is much more important for him right now.

 **"You're challenging me, huh? See this knife? If you didn't get out of my way, I will make sure this dangerous weapon will fly towards your precious junior. Do you want that?"** But Sehun stands still. Kyungsoo heaves a deep sigh. He's not serious about what he said. Sehun may annoy him but he doesn't have the guts to hurt his best friend. Just a few punches will do but today seems to be an exception. Sehun looks serious.

Kyungsoo gives up, **"What now?"**

 **"Please just stay here, hyung. Do it for me and Luhan hyung. _We cannot afford to lose you once again._ " **Kyungsoo didn't hear the last line but judging the maknae's face, it seems like something is bothering him, rather, Luhan and him.

 **"Alright, talk it out."** He approaches the maknae. Sehun was about to go to his hyung but it was too late. When he was cut off-guard, Kyungsoo had already ran towards the door.

**"It will rain soon, Jongin. Do you have the guts to see the result of the discontentment of your dirty libido** **?"** Jongin lowers his head. It hurts. _It really hurts._ But what can he do? This is the consequences of the mistakes he'd done in the past.

He just don't want Kyungsoo to be hurt.

He was about to turn his heels away when the sounds of the raindrops savored the seashore. It is raining.

His eyes automatically flew towards the hotel where he checked-in. It was the same hotel Luhan and Sehun got with Kyungsoo. Something was telling him to go inside the hotel. To made sure that the scenario he saw for 9 years would never be repeated again.

_But it was too late._

Kyungsoo's unconscious body is lying in the hotel's doorway. Luhan run towards him. Sehun also run towards Kyungsoo. He wants to go to him. To hug him and to assure that everything will be alright, but his feet are glued to where he is standing right now.

Just like the past 9 years, all Jongin could do at that time was to watch while his love was being vulnerable in front of him.

**"Hyung, he's awake."** Sehun gladly shouts when he saw Kyungsoo's fingers moving. Luhan ran towards them. A broom in his hand. He was cleaning Kyungsoo's room when he hears Sehun shouts.

 **"Hey Soo. How are you feeling? Does something in you hurts? Tell me where. We can notify the nurse about that."** He asks, worriedly. Kyungsoo tries to sit up but the pain in his back is preventing him from doing so.

 **"I'm fine, Luhannie. May I ask, where am I?"** Both Sehun and Luhan freeze. It is happening _again._

 **"Ugh, my head really hurts. What am I doing here again? All I can remember is when we went to Cherry Blossom Park. Did I fell from a tree? My back really hurts like hell."** Luhan cannot do anything but to nod. Sehun mirrors his action, still speechless. This scenario _shouldn't_ be new to them but they can't still take the pain and pity from seeing their best friend in this state.

Luhan excuses himself. He went towards the Head Psychologist's office.

 **"Dissociative amnesia."** The doctor utters. **"It is a disorder characterized by abnormal memory functioning in the absence of structural brain damage. It results from the effects of severe stress or psychological trauma rather than from any physical or physiological cause. It is often considered to be equivalent to the clinical condition known as _repressed memory syndrome_.** **It isn't a physical disability, rather, it is psychological. The patient wants to forget something traumatic so his mind reacts to it as a form of defense mechanism. We can relate this to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. If this is not treated immediately, the patient might suffer from more severe psychological disorders such as PTSD."** The doctor pauses. **"I'm afraid Mr. Do is having this kind of psychological trauma, Mr. Lu."** The doctor states.

Luhan ducks down his head. His tears might just fall anytime from now but he's stopping it. He doesn't want to look pathetic by crying in front of someone.

 **"Is there any way to treat Kyungsoo from this 'Dissociative Amnesia' you're saying?"** He questions. He's suppressing his tears right now. _Not the same answer please._

_"Preventing him from the exposure to the objects that might make him recollect his past is the only way we can do to prevent him from suffering more."_

**"Since Mr. Do's dissociative amnesia is selective, I'm afraid we can't do anything against it. The only way we can recommend to you is to prevent him from the exposure to the things that can make him remember about his past. We're so sorry, Mr. Lu."**

Luhan slowly nods, his tears cannot be suppressed anymore.

_**"Do you know my ultimate dream, Luhannie?"** The 10-year old Kyungsoo asks his best friend._

_**"What is it, baby Soo?"** Luhan questioned back. He sees how the eyes of his best friend sparkle. He can't decipher anything from it except for the dreamy daze._

_**"I want to live happily ever after with my prince charming like Cinderella and Snow White and other Disney Princesses."** Little Kyungsoo dreamily grimaced. Luhan stares at him._

_Luhan stood up, a piece of branch in his hand. **"Your wish is my command."** he motions the wood like some kind of wand._

_**"Thank you, fairy god mother Luhannie."** then the two played and played until the sunset._

Walking towards Kyungsoo's room feels like deja vu. He experienced it countless times. For the past 9 years with nothing but the same cycle, Luhan can't help himself but to get used to it.

Erasing the traces of tears from his face, Luhan wore his brightest smile. Laughing Kyungsoo and Sehun welcome him. Sehun looks at him apologetically but it doesn't last long when Kyungsoo calls Luhan to join them in watching a drama rerun.

_I'm sorry I can't do anything to grant your wish, Kyungsoo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what made the fifteen year old me write this angsty fic. but yea, hope you enjoy this!
> 
> let us mutual!  
> twiiter: @pennedbyunnie  
> wattpad: PennedByUnnie  
> tumblr: Aya Lumiere
> 
> thank you! ♡


End file.
